Dying to Connect
by AChar
Summary: Draco returns to Hogwarts for his eighth year. He is depressed and self-loathing, and his emotions come to a head when Harry Potter steps in, to save his life, again. He tries to ignore his feelings for Harry, but Harry refuses to be leave him alone... Not DH epilogue compliant. Trigger warning for suicide attempt and depression.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Harry Potter or the HP characters or places mentioned in this story. **

**AN: This will be a Drarry story,this is just a set-up chapter. **

**Prologue- **Draco POV

I jolted awake to the blaring of an alarm- _my _alarm. My brain sluggishly caught up to the present as I assessed my surroundings. My legs tangled up in cotton sheets, my bed and nightstand the only furnishings in the sparse bedroom. A lamp resides on the stand beside me, along with an alarm clock and glass of water. Still half asleep, I look around for my wand before I remember; right... no magic. Muggle house, muggle objects, boring pseudo muggle life. _I can do this, _I tell myself.

I slowly roll out of bed, grabbing my pants that I had thrown on the floor in my haste the night previous, and head for the bathroom. Yesterday seemed like a dream; so much anxiety and changes had taken place that when I finally arrived in this wretched muggle "sanctuary", all I could think about was how much I wanted to sleep so I could forget the events of the day. But sleep only offered a brief reprieve, and now it was time to face the music.

Everything was different here, but I knew I had to stay, at least temporarily. I was sent here, to a magic-less safe-house yesterday, a mere week and a half into the summer- _for your own safety_, is what McGonagall said. Sure, it would be safe until I offed myself from boredom, or frustration, or worry, or any of the other hostile emotions rolling around in my skull. Not to mention- the ministry had taken my wand after Potter had returned it to me after my trial- they said I _couldn't be trusted. _Now I was left in a muggle town somewhere far away from the Manor, defenceless, magicless, and hopeless.

And I was scared.

Even though I had been freed of all charges made against me, I was still known to the common public as a former Death Eater. The "good side" of the war had won, and the tables had turned for the Malfoys. Where before we were respected, feared, and well known, now we were scorned and held in low regard. My father being sent to Azkaban didn't help either- the previous head of the family, who usually set fear in the hearts of any opposing families, was now in prison, left to rot, a smear on the Malfoy name. With my father's absence, rival families of the Malfoys took the opportunity to gain power politically and financially, bumping the Malfoy family out of its previous position of power, fame, and fortune. Everyone 'wronged' by my father jumped at the opportunity to spit on us, and now I was the one left to clean up the mess. Merlin knows my father would be no help any longer.

And despite all this, I couldn't wrap my mind around a future, alone, without my father to guide me and tell me what to do. I knew it should've felt freeing, not having to serve anyone or obey the every whim of a man who tortured muggles for fun, but somehow all I can feel is lonely. And every night, my subconscious likes to remind me why. I'm constantly tortured with _what if_s and _if only_s, regrets and self hatred. If I had only been a bit more brave, I wouldn't be living this life.

I laugh darkly to myself as I walk into the bathroom. If I had only been a bit more like _Potter_, perhaps I wouldn't be damned. 

~0~

_Two Days Earlier_

"See, Draco? That wasn't nearly as awful as you thought it would be. We were both acquitted, much thanks to Harry Potter, and now we can go home. So why do you look so downtrodden?" Mother asks as we walk out of the ministry's level 10 Wizengamot Courtrooms and up the stairs to level 9.

"Its nothing, Mother. I'm just tired. I want to go home." I mumble down to my feet as we walked towards the elevators. I was confused- I had just stood on trial, fully expecting to be sentenced life in prison for being a Death Eater and making an attempt on Dumbledore's life, but then Potter had walked in. Little did I know, he had just stood trial for my mother, telling the panel of witches and wizards that she had saved his life in the Forbidden Forest, and that she deserved to be released. Being the Chosen One, the Wizengamot immediately decided that his word was above any charge, and so she was pardoned of her involvement with the Dark Lord.

My eyes had nearly popped out of my head when Potter walked into the courtroom holding _my_ trial, and I wasn't the only one. Half the people in the room stood gaping, at a loss for words. He entered the courtroom with a determined look on his face, like he knew he would be fighting a near-impossible battle, a trial more complicated than that of my mother. I was the son of the Dark Lord's right-hand man, after all. I still didn't understand why he had bothered to come at all.

So there he had stood, testifying to the Wizengamot of my innocence, and demanding my immediate release. He told them I couldn't be blamed for my involvement with the Dark Lord- if I had not complied with his demands, he said, my family and my own life would have been in great danger.

"Draco only became a Death Eater to save the lives of his family members and himself- had you been in the same position, don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same. And I stand witness to the night of Dumbledore's death- Draco lowered his wand. He did not kill Dumbledore, nor did he have any real intention to kill him. It was only under Voldemort's threats did he make such a feeble attempt on Dumbledore's life." Everyone in the courtroom cringed when Potter said the Dark Lord's name, but he continued on with his argument, as I sat watching him in awe. The savior of the Wizarding world, come to save me. I couldn't believe what he was doing, and knew that I would forever be in debt to him. I could probably never repay it though, it wasn't like the Chosen One would even want to be around a former Death Eater. This was probably just Potter being his noble hero self, his conscience unable to let him watch me be sent to rot in prison with my father. Ha.

Despite many protests and grumblings among the Wizengamot panel, the final verdict was in my favor. With Harry Potter's testimony, I couldn't be sent to prison, due to the ministry's hesitance to defy the Savior of the Wizarding World, to whom they owed a great deal.

I left the courtroom when dismissed, Potter staying behind to talk to someone on the panel. _For an autograph no doubt_, I think to myself humorlessly. Outside, sitting on a bench, is my mother, shivering from the dementors' chill in the hall. She gets up and hugs me when I approach, and I am infinitely grateful for the warmth her arms provide.

Before my mother or I can step into the elevator on level 9, there is a shout of, "Draco, wait!" and rapid footsteps approaching from behind. I turn around, and there stands Potter in all his Gryffindor glory, pink-faced from exertion. I raise my eyebrows, curious as to what he could possibly want to say to me, of all people.

"I wanted to return this to you, now that you're able to go home. I don't know why I kept it for so long." He says, out of breath, as he reaches in his pocket and pulls out my wand. I take it from him, half-smiling. I had never really expected to see my wand again, never mind hold it and feel the magic thrumming through it and into my fingers again.

"Thanks, Potter," I said while still looking down at my wand. His feet shuffle a bit before he replies.

"Yeah, its no problem. And you can call me Harry- we aren't enemies anymore, okay?" He says earnestly, an intense look on his face.

"Okay... Harry." He smiles when I say his name, looking relieved that I didn't rebuff his offer of friendship. "And thanks for testifying for me today, too. I thought for sure I was Azkaban's next inmate." He nods with a little smile at this, turning his eyes down to his shoes.

"You're welcome. I meant what I said, about believing you were innocent. The war is over now, and its time for new beginnings." I'm surprised by this; I had thought he would be the first one to point fingers at former Death Eaters. Potter is all full of surprises lately, though; I should hardly be surprised.

"Yeah, I agree. Thanks again." At this my mother clears her throat behind me, where I had forgotten she stood. I sigh and turn back to Potter. "I have to go. Goodbye... Harry." My hesitancy to say his name is obvious, almost embarrassing. It was a force of habit to call him Potter, or Potty, which was far more amusing of a name.

"Bye." He says with a smile and spins around, gracelessly strolling back down the stairs to the courtrooms. I watch him go, unsure of what I was feeling towards the dark-haired wizard.

"He's returning to Hogwarts next year, you know." My mother interrupts my internal ponderings, and I turn back around to her, walking with her into the elevator. The door slams closed, and I grab the rope above my head as the elevator abruptly hurtles backwards, and then up.

"Is he?" I ask in return to my mother's statement, and she rolls her eyes at my ignorance of apparently publicly-known information.

"O fcourse. You could too, you know. I heard that once Hogwarts renovations and repairs are complete, they will be opening the school again this upcoming school year, with McGonagall as Headmistress. Last year's seventh years are being asked to return for an eighth year, because the war and the circumstances prevented proper education to be delivered to the students. The "Eighth Years", so to speak, are required to return in order to graduate. Obviously some students, like yourself, need not really graduate, as its pointless anyways, but it could be worth it to see your friends and get the education anyways." I think about Hogwarts for a moment, and I wonder if I would really want to return. It had been the setting for many of my nightmares in the past couple weeks, and I knew that even if I got the best grades of my year I wouldn't be able to get a job. Not that I could get the best grades of my year, what with Granger and all, but still. Any known Death Eaters were denied jobs now, for the obvious reasons.

"I don't know, mum. It would be nice to see Blaise again, but would it be worth another year at Hogwarts?" I ask contemplatively.

"It could be good for you. It would be a stress-free year, and I doubt most of the Slytherins in your year will be returning, save for the few not aligned with the Dark Lord. And I know how much you love Potions- another year of it could be fun. You will probably get a Hogwarts letter by owl sometime soon anyways, if you really are allowed to return, so you can worry about it then." We walk out of the elevator onto the level for floo entrance and exit, but before we can go towards the fireplaces, a hand grabs my shoulder from behind.

I turn around, and face a middle-aged man in Ministry garb. His hair is grey, his eyebrows bushy, with a matching bushy grey mustache. He scowls at me, his mustache ruffled and looking as unhappy as he does. He releases my shoulder and I take a small step backward.

"You are Mr. Malfoy, correct?" He asks gruffly.

"Yes, sir." I state, a bit unnerved by his look of contempt.

"I am here to confiscate your wand. You have been acquitted of any crime, but the Ministry will continue to keep watch of you. You are not allowed a wand until further notice. The Ministry fears you are a danger and any magic you use may be a risk." He smirks at me, aware of how shocked and indignant I feel. I notice his nametag says "Kennedy". _An odd name for a wizard in these parts_, I think.

"But sir, this must be a mistake. Draco is not a danger- Harry Potter testified at his trial!" My mother exclaims, her eyebrows drawn in, making a frustrated crease in between them.

"This is no mistake, Miss. Its policy. We will continue to monitor your son until further notice. If he decides to return to Hogwarts, his wand will be returned once he returns to the school. Until then, he must refrain from magic usage and only travel by floo." He reaches down and grabs my wand out of my hand, snarling nastily when I start to protest. "You may leave now. Thank you for your cooperation." He snickers at my shocked expression as he turns to walk away.

My mother grabs my arm and pulls me to the floo. As we step in I hear her say, "Malfoy Manor", and then we are whisked away in green flame.

I step out of the fireplace after my mother, gracefully entering the room without stumbling from the abrupt landing. There was a fine layer of dust and the smell of stale air in the room we entered, left unused during our absence. The house felt cold and lonely without my father, but less tense.

I followed my mother into the sitting room, and almost call for a house elf before I remember that all our elves were dismissed when my father, mother, and myself were taken into ministry custody. It explained why the house looked so unused, and posed a definite inconvenience when it came to cooking or cleaning.

My mother passed through the sitting room, headed towards the dining room. I hesitated outside the door, remembering the horrors I had seen in that room and unwilling to evoke those memories in full force.

I sigh and steel myself, walking through the doorway at the same time as I hear a shriek. Inside the dining room I see my mother, a wand to her throat, held by a man in a black cloak and a Death Eater's mask. "Draco, run!" my mother shouts, but I hesitate. I am defenceless and wandless, but I couldn't just leave here there to be taken or killed by an angry Death Eater with no master. "Draco, NOW!" she shouts, as she rears her head back into the masked-man's face, her elbow aiming for his throat. He releases her and brings his hands up to his throat, gagging for air.

My mother runs toward me, and I turn around and run through the sitting room into the room with the fireplace. Grabbing a handful of floo powder, I step into the fireplace. "Go, Draco!" she yells from a couple feet behind me. I turn around facing the room, throw my powder down and yell, "Diagon Alley!" on impulse. Before I am whisked away in the green flame, I see my mother running towards me, and then a black figure suddenly appearing in front of her,and then nothing.

I stumble out of the fireplace into a dark shop. Spotting the door I run out into the street, but find no one. I consider going to the ministry, but decide against it- why would they help two former Death Eaters? So, as a last resort, I head to King's Cross station. Hogwarts, it is.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

**AN: Thank you to the readers so far!**

Chapter 1

My legs wobbled a bit as I stepped of the train headed to Hogsmeade.

_What's happening to my mother? Is she ok? What if I had already taken too long to get help... and she was dead?_ I cringed at the thought- I couldn't go there. Without my mother, I would have no one. I would be well and truly alone.

My steps come quicker with the thought of my mother, and soon I am in town, stepping through the (thankfully) open doors of the Three Broomsticks.

"Good lord, boy. Its nearly midnight! What're the likes 'a you doin' out at this ungodly hour?" The barkeep asks gruffly, as I head to the bar. He is wiping down a glass with an off-white rag. His rough voice matches the rest of his appearance- rough, unkempt, like he didn't change his clothes or trim his hair as often as he should.

"I'm a Hogwarts student, sir. I need to contact Headmistress McGonagall- is there a chance you could lend me an owl?" I asked, the words pouring out in a rush.

"A 'course.. so long as you buy a room for the night. Can't be givin' our services for free, now can we?" He chuckles at his joke and turns away, probably assuming I would have no money for a room.

"Fine. I'll take it."

He turns around with a mild look of surprise on his face."Ya sure,son? Alright, lemme get you a key. Room 6 should be fine." He hands me a key from under the counter, and I hand him the money.

He resumes wiping a beer glass with his rag, saying, "The owl will be up soon. You go up 'n get settled."

I nod my thanks, and head upstairs to my room.

Upon entering, I realize I had been given a small, dusty room, paint peeling up from the floor. A bed sat in the center of the room, looking sad, sagging in the middle. I go sit down on the mattress, noting the lack of other furniture in the room.

I sit there for a while after taking off my shoes, realizing I had left all my belongings at home, and had no wand to summon or conjure up some clean clothes or a toothbrush.

I sigh in annoyance, before I feel guilty- I remember that I am here for mother, who is in much worse circumstances. _This is no time for petty selfish needs._

A sharp tapping comes from the window behind me, and I roll over to the other side of the bed and get up, before opening the window. A brownish gray eagle owl flies in, reminding me much of my own owl who I had used to have at home...

The owl squawks in annoyance, impatiently holding out the leaf of blank parchment, waiting for me to take it.

"Alright, alright. Sorry, I have no treats for you." I say as I untie the parchment and pen enclosed.

I sit down on the floor and begin to write.

_Headmistress,_

_I am sorry for contacting you so early before the school year, but it is urgent. _

_After returning from the Ministry tonight, my mother and I were ambushed at the Manor. There was at least one Death Eater that I saw, but I was unable to identify him. _

_I was able to floo to Diagon Alley before they grabbed me, but my mother was not so lucky. He appeared in front of her before she could escape, and appeared to apparate with her away from the grounds. _

_I am currently staying in The Three Broomsticks, as I cannot return to the Manor for fear that there are still Death Eaters there. I have enough gold to last at least a couple weeks here, since I have nowhere else to go, and I am assuming that I will be allowed to return to Hogwarts at the end of the summer. I can wait until then._

_I am asking that you could contact the Ministry or in some way help me find my mother- I hate to think that she is all alone, likely injured and frightened. _

_I wouldn't be asking if it weren't urgent._

_-Draco Malfoy_

Tying the letter to the owl, I open the window and it flies out, slowly becoming smaller as it disappears in the night sky.

The exhaustion of the day finally catches up to me, and I slump down onto the bed, already half asleep.

The last thing that crosses my mind before sleep overcomes me is the day of the battle at Hogwarts, when Potter- _Harry, _had saved me from the fiendfyre. I fell asleep feeling sad, and guilty, without really knowing why.

~0~

I am awoken by loud, hoarse screams. It takes me a moment to get my bearings before I realize they are mine, and I stop.

My whole body is shaking with tremors, my hair dripping with sweat. _Another nightmare…_

Ever since the Battle of Hogwarts, and even before then, when the Dark Lord was still living in my house, I had been experiencing nightmares where I often awoke screaming in fear, panicking that my dream was reality.

I calm myself with deep breaths and I try to clear my mind. I recall the nightmare that woke me up a few moments ago; It was of Dumbledore, his face when I had disarmed and threatened to kill him. It was a sad resignation, as if he knew he was going to die, and had already accepted it. But I didn't want to kill him…

And then a flash of green light, and Dumbledore was falling, dead before he hit the ground.

The image still haunted me, along with intense guilt. I had almost _killed _him. But Snape had done it before I could succeed, and now he, too, was dead.

It was like everyone I had ever loved was dead or disappeared.

I am pulled out of my thoughts when a sharp tapping against the window catches my attention. It is the owl, returned, and holding a rolled-up piece of parchment in its talons.

I open the window to let it in, and it holds out its leg. I take the letter, and before I can bid my thanks, it flies off back through the open window. _I guess that means she doesn't want a reply._

I notice that the parchment feels a bit heavier than usual in my hand, and as I unroll the parchment, a small silver button slides out into my hand. I put it down on the bed and start to read the letter.

_Draco,_

_I have contacted someone in the Ministry whom I trust with this situation. I trust they will be unbiased. We think the ones to blame for this crime are former Death Eaters who escaped after the war and are in hiding to avoid the Ministry. They are likely angry that you and your mother were acquitted, or perhaps they think you betrayers because of your ties to Potter. It is also possible that this is a way for them to get back at your father for a past grudge or revenge. Either way, we will seek justice in this matter._

_I am sorry to hear of your inconvenience, and I understand why you must not return to the Manor. However, you cannot stay at The Three Broomsticks any longer- you are lucky that these Death Eaters have not found you there yet. Hogsmeade is precisely where they would expect you go, since Hogwarts is your only other home._

_That in mind, I enclose a portkey in this letter. At exactly 10 a.m. today the portkey will activate and transport you to a safe house. Shortly following will be a Ministry official, who will explain some things to you._

_Best of luck, Draco, and I will see you when school recommences._

There was no signature, but I knew who it was from, and was grateful. I was sure McGonagall was going through a lot of trouble for me and my mother.

I settle back into the bed and lean my back against the headboard.

All there was to do now was sit and wait until 10 a.m.

~0~

I landed roughly in front of a small grey house, barely a shack in comparison to the grandness of the Manor.

I looked around, and noted that there were many small houses of varying colors and state of wear lining the sides of the street, much like the one I stood in front of. I turned back facing the house and headed up the three steps that led to a sun-bleached blue front door. The door opened soundlessly without protest when I turned the knob, finding it unlocked.

The inside was just as simple and basic as the outside was; there were two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and a main greeting room. Some odd items were placed throughout the rooms, such as a small black box on the nightstand in one of the rooms, and lamps that were connected to the _wall. _There was also a weird looking box in the kitchen, this one white, with a glass door that let you look inside.I had seen something like it in our Muggle Studies textbook a couple years ago at Hogwarts, but to see it in tangible form was different. I backed out of the room slowly, afraid of what the object would do if I looked at it for too long.

A few hours later, when I am sitting in the front greeting room, I hear someone open the door.

A ministry official walks in, looking about as exhausted as I feel. She hangs up her coat on the coat rack just inside the front door, and turns to me.

"Hello, my name is Parsons and I will be staying here with you for the remainder of this week. I am here to answer any questions you may have as well as explain to you why you are here and what you should expect from the rest of the summer."

I nod, and she continues.

"A ministry worker will switch off with me next week, and this will happen every week until the rest of the summer. You are not allowed to use magic while you are here. You are in a muggle town, and this is a safe house that the Ministry uses for fugitives or those in witness protection, You will be safe while you are here, and no one will be able to find you."

She starts to walk into the kitchen, and so I follow. She begins to explain the workings and purposes of all the muggle objects in the house, passing through each room.

"At the end of the summer a Ministry worker will come to take you to Hogwarts. You will be safe there for the remainder of the investigation. We are doing all that we can to find your mother." She smiles kindly to me, the first real emotion I had seen on her face since she had walked in.

"Thank you," I whisper. She directs me to "my" room, hands me some blankets and a toothbrush from a hall closet, and bids me good night. I stand staring at her back as she walks to the room she would be staying in, the blankets still in my hand.

This was going to be a nightmare, I just knew it.

Again, I wake abruptly from a nightmare. I turn to my alarm clock and see it is barely one in the morning. This time my nightmare was about the fiendfyre in the Room of Hidden Things… when Vince had died. And when Potter had saved my life.

I could still smell the smoke, and feel the fear I had felt in that moment, so sure that Potter and Weasley would leave us behind, to die. I would have, if I were them.

I think about how grateful I felt when I got out alive, and the guilt I felt immediately after that I was alive and Vince was not.

This line of thinking leads me to remember all those who I had seen die, all those who had died for nothing… and all those who I could have saved.

I fall back into the bed, exhausted still but knowing I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, not with the faces of the dead and tortured haunting me.

I sit and consider all my past failures and mistakes, instances where I should've stood my ground and didn't. I almost wished Voldemort had killed me when he could've.

I let myself sink deeper into self destructive thoughts, the depression slowly rising up until I am swallowed whole.

**AN: Now we are caught up to where the story started in the beginning of the prologue. Next chapter Draco returns to Hogwarts, and we see Harry again. **

**Thank you to those who have read/reviewed, it is much appreciated!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the great Harry Potter or his mates. Or potential boyfriends.

**AN: I didn't realize, but I guess this chapter is a lot longer than my others. I was on a roll, I guess, haha. **

**Anyways, there is a slight warning for M-ish related material at the end. Nothing too bad. ****_Yet_****. **

Chapter 2

The rest of the summer passes in a daze. Every day I ask for news on my mother, and every day there is none.

Each week a new Ministry official comes in and introduces themselves, but I can't find it within me to remember their names.

Most of my time is spent in bed, staring at the white walls, watching my life deteriorate before my eyes. Most days I don't leave the bed, and I often forget to eat.

When in bed I think of the war, and of my mother, and my father, Dumbledore, even Fred Weasley... The list goes on endlessly.

The last and most recurring name on my list of regrets is Harry Potter. I had been so cruel, so childish. We were only products of the same war, doomed to be enemies. It made me more sad than it probably should have.

~0~

I receive my Hogwarts summons letter a week before school starts. The weeks ministry official brings me to Diagon Alley for supply shopping, but I don't need much and just end up staring blankly into the Quidditch supply shop, reminding me of yet another thing I had been a failure at.

We return to the safe house a couple hours later.

~0~

Boarding the Hogwarts express is unnerving. The last time I had been on this train I had thought would be my last, yet here I am again. I find an empty booth and plop down on the bench, resting my head against the window and closing my eyes.

The door of my compartment is whipped open with a resounding SLAM, and my head snaps up to stare at the intruder.

Pansy and Blaise stroll in, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I had wanted to be left alone, undisturbed.

"Drake, we haven't heard from you all summer! I had to hear from the Prophet, of all places, that you and your mother had been acquitted!" Pansy whines loudly.

Blaise, quiet as always, sits down across from me and crosses his legs, looking mildly bored.

"It's a long story, Pans." I mutter, wanting her to go away so I could sleep. Apparently this wish was in vain, because as soon as I go to rest my head back on the window, Pansy plunks down heavily beside me and grabs my arm.

"We have the whole train ride, Draco. Tell us why you have been neglecting us!"

Blaise smirks across from me but says nothing, apparently not as concerned as Pansy with my supposed "neglect".

I sigh, coming to terms with the apparent impossibility of getting some sleep. I steel myself for a long, highly energetic conversation, before beginning to explain the events of my summer with Pansy pitching in a question or exclamation every sentence or two.

I look at Pansy with her big, sympathetic eyes, and choose instead to look out the window into the corridor of the train.

Blaise chuckles at something Pansy says, but stays otherwise silent. Pansy launches into another round of questions that I answer grudgingly, apparently oblivious to my disinterest in the conversation.

A flash of dark hair catches my eye from down the corridor, and as I watch, Potter comes into view with Weasley and Granger. Seeing Granger again spikes another wave of guilt- was I wrong about her, too? I wasn't sure anymore what was right or wrong. What if my father's teachings concerning pure bloods and mudbloods was wrong? What if it didn't really matter? I watch her, confused, and feeling guilty for calling her Mudblood all those times. It feels better remembering the time she punched me in third year. I laugh to myself, before turning my eyes back to Potter.

Potter catches me looking at him and smiles, shocking me entirely.

"Drake? Draco, I asked you a question!"

I turn back to Pansy with a slight smile on my face, and ask her to repeat the question, all while thinking of a certain pair of green eyes.

~0~

Upon arrival at my dorm in the "Eighth years" floor of the castle, I unpack slowly. Around me Blaise and Theodore Nott each unpack by their respective beds. A perk of being an eighth year was only having two roommates rather than three, like previous years._That might also be due to the lack of other Slytherin boys, though,_ I think.

This year, only about eight or nine Slytherins had returned as eighth years. Half the Slytherin seventh years had returned, and surprisingly few sixth years had returned. The younger Slytherin years seemed unaffected by the war, besides the few who had been the youngest members of known Death Eater families.

Besides myself, there were only four other Slytherin boy eighth years returned. Pansy, I knew, had to share a room with Astoria Greengrass and the twin girls whose names I had never learned. The four of them were the only Slytherin girls who had returned for an eighth year. I was surprised that Astoria had returned, but rumor had it that her and her younger sister's parents had been killed in the war and they were now living with distant relatives who'd had no known connection to the Dark Lord or his associates. .

The castle had been renovated over the summer, all repairs made to fix all damages after the war. Hogwarts had been restored to its previous glory, and another section of the castle had even been added, specifically with the eighth years in mind.

All four houses with eighth year students were housed on the same floor, with four separate dorms for each house and one common room. It was odd, having to move out of the dungeons, but it was even more odd entering the common room to see _Gryffindors_.

My limbs feel heavy with exhaustion; I wonder why, I hadn't really done much all day. I finish unpacking and sit down on my bed, thoughts of sleep already entering my mind.

Pansy runs into our dorm yelling, causing Theodore to jump and run for cover behind his bed.

"Drake! Blaise! Did you see? We get our own bathrooms!" She shrieks. I cover my ears and turn to bury my face in my pillow.

Blaise responds for the both of us, "We haven't had the chance to look, Pans." Pansy leaps onto Blaise's bed, apparently hunkering down for an in-depth conversation.

"Theo!" Blaise shouts, his attention turned to the other boy. "What, are you afraid of girls or something?"

Theo blushes and walks around his bed, sitting on it so he was facing Pansy and Blaise. "No, of course not. Just a bit surprised to see her in the dorm, I guess. I do sleep here, mate."

"Not naked, I hope." Blaise says with that signature smirk of his. He's just trying to capitalize off of Theo's embarrassment, I can tell, but nonetheless Theo coughs awkwardly and looks down into his lap, seemingly searching for a response but coming up empty.

Pansy giggles and Theo blushes a deeper shade of pink. I groan into my pillow before deciding I could no longer stay in my dorm to listen to such dull conversation. I wave behind me to the room's occupants as I leave, with only a brief complaint from Pansy as to why I was leaving.

Without bothering to respond, I head towards the common room.

The common room looked nothing at all like the common room in the Slytherin dungeons- it had the colors of all the houses, and was more light and open, more welcoming.

I didn't particularly care for the change of scenery, but I didn't care about much lately anyways.

I make my way to the portrait hole entrance- the idea taken from the Gryffindor dormitories, Pansy had told me- and pass by a few Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors sitting on the couches.

There had been many more returned eighth years from the other three houses this year, outnumbering the Slytherins by far. Normally I would find discomfort from being at such a disadvantage, but I couldn't find it in myself to really care.

Absently, I notice that a couple of the Gryffindors on the couches include the Weasel and Granger, and this leads me to wonder where Potter was. Not that I really cared, or anything...

I shake my head to dismantle the thoughts of Harry as I step through the portrait hole and into the corridor.

I wander aimlessly for a half-hour or so, finding myself somewhere near (where I presumed to be, due to the Gryffindor traffic I had seen in this area in previous years) the Gryffindor dorms. I see a couple of figures turn around the corner towards me, and for reasons unknown, I duck into a pitch-dark adjacent corridor. _I'm acting like a criminal, _I berate myself silently. I am about to walk back out into the main corridor, the other occupants be damned, but pause when I hear a voice.

"Listen, Ginny, I just think maybe we should take a break." I cover my mouth to conceal my gasp. It was Potter outside the corridor! And he was breaking up with the girl-Weasel! My eyes are wide, the shock almost too much for me to take.

"Wait- what? What do you mean, Harry?"

"You know, see other people. I just think that after the war and everything, we each need time to be ourselves again. I don't think jumping back into a relationship would be the best thing for us."

I hear the girl-Weasel's intake of breath, and when she speaks, her voice is strained, as if she were holding back tears. "No, Harry… you can't do this! I thought… but...I love you." Her voice cracks on the last word.

"And I love you too, Ginny… I just think that this isn't the best thing for us. There's just a lot for me to come to terms with, and I need to be alone for awhile, without the stress of a relationship hanging over my head." Harry's voice is completely calm. He speaks in a low, soothing manner, trying to calm the she-Weasel before she breaks into hysterics.

His efforts go mostly wasted though, as I hear her break into loud, hoarse sobs. I almost feel bad for her, but not quite.

Her words come out in sobbing stutters. "Is this… is this because of _him_? Is it because of-"

Harry interrupts her in a rush, seemingly hurrying to stop her from completing the sentence. "No, no Ginny. This is just me. We just need time to be separate, for a while. I promise."

I can't help but feel annoyed that he had interrupted her before I could find out what she was saying. _Him? Who could she have meant? His godfather, maybe? _I ponder.

It is quiet for a few moments, the girl- _Ginny_, I remind myself that it is rude to call people demeaning nick-names, calming her sobs until they are just whimpers.

Finally, Harry speaks. "Are you alright, Gin?"

She sniffles and murmurs a weak, "Yeah, I guess."

I hear footsteps, and assume they head back the way they had come. I risk a peek around the corner, and see that the hall is deserted.

Quickly I turn the corner and head down the hall, away from the Gryffindor tower.

Filch stops me as I am headed towards the Slytherin dungeons, for old time's sake, I had told myself.

"Jus' been by the Headmistress… want's t' see you. Best hurry along, don't want to be out past bedtime…" He shows his teeth in an awkward impression of a smile and limps off, his cat following behind him.

Sighing, I turn around, and make my way towards the Headmistresses office.

~0~

McGonagall greets me with a hug, surprisingly, when I walk into her office.

"Hello, Mr. Malfoy. I have been expecting your visit. Sit, please." She walks behind her desk and takes a seat just as I do. When I am seated in front of her with my hands in my lap, she offers me a sweet of some sort from a glass bowl. I had only been to the Head's office once or twice when Dumbledore was Headmaster, but I did notice that she had changed the kind of sweets in the glass bowl. _Probably a painful memory, for her. She likely doesn't want to seem as if she is trying to replace him, _I reason.

I decline gracefully, and wait for her to get to the reason of the visit.

"Draco, I have summoned you here to discuss your mother." I nod, and she continues. "As you know, I have contacted the Ministry with your case. They have so far made a great effort into locating your mother's whereabouts, but have not made much headway."

I brace myself for bad news, but McGonagall just smiles tightly and continues talking.

"As of yesterday, more Aurors have been called to join in this case. It is the biggest case so far since the war, you know. Everyone wants to catch these Death Eaters, so of course they are trying their hardest to search. And by finding them, hopefully they will also locate your mother."

My shoulders sag with relief. This was the most promising news I had heard for months. I had worried that the aurors on the case wouldn't have much motivation to search for Lucius Malfoy's wife, but upon hearing they weren't giving up, a large weight is lifted off my shoulders.

"I wanted to update you on the case, is all. I am in contact with the Minister himself, who is greatly interested in your mother's case. The men who they think have taken captive your mother are infamous murderers, and have escaped justice for far too long." At this she stands, and offers me her hand.

"Thank you, Headmistress. For letting me know. I am grateful that you have gone to such measures to help me." I take her hand, her grasp tight.

"We hold no ill will for you, Draco. Your father is gone, and you have a chance to remake yourself, and your name. You can live how you desire, now."

My eyes fill with moisture at her words, the hope and gratitude in my chest overwhelming. She seems to understand my inability to speak, because she releases my hand and pats my shoulder affectionately before ushering me to the door.

"You must get back before curfew, now. Can't get in trouble your first day back!" She laughs and turns back into her office. I wave as I descend the steps, feeling lighter than I have in months.

~0~

When I enter my shared dorm I see Theo haphazardly strewn across his bed, fast asleep. Blaise's curtains are drawn around his bed, letting me know he doesn't want to be disturbed.

The exhaustion I had felt earlier is gone, replaced by a restlessness. I know I couldn't sleep if I tried, so I head to the bathroom instead, tossing my clothes off as I turn the water on in the shower.

As I wait for the water to heat up, I keep my thoughts away from my mother. I don't want to find myself depressed again before I can enjoy this feeling of relief, and so I let my thoughts drift to other matters.

Soon enough, I find my mind centering around the conversation I had overheard earlier, between Potter and the girl Weasley. I don't let myself dwell on why the conversation intrigued me so much. I wonder why he had broken up with her- they had seemed so well suited. She was his best friends sister, and they were practically all set to be married the previous year. Not that I had been keeping tabs on Potter or anything, but you just hear stuff through the vine when you are keeping an ear out for whisperings of the Dark Lord.

I step under the hot spray and let my muscles relax. I grab the soap and start to rub it across my chest, letting the water wash away my stress and tension.

_Harry, and his green, green eyes. So pure, so good. _My thoughts return to Harry, and I let myself think about him, how misconstrued my version of him in my head had been before the war. I'd had such jealousy and hatred towards him that I had been unable to see how good he was, how wrong I was when I called him a fame-whore or conceited. I certainly didn't hate him anymore, and I was no longer jealous of him, either. Maybe of the girl-Weasel for having the opportunity to be with him… _Where the hell did that thought come from?_

Harry was just a boy who had too much weight on his shoulders, too many expectations of him and too many demands. _Just like me..._

_He has such a light in him, such purity. He's so kind, and gentle. And his smile, that smile…_

I feel almost guilty, for some reason, as I think of Harry. I look down to see that my hand had drifted during my musings, slowly caressing my prick, which is already half-hard.

It feels too good, and I hadn't felt good in _ages, _so I don't stop.

_Fuck, Harry…_

Now that I was done with hating him, I could see all the good that made up Harry Potter. He was everything I had always wanted to be, everything I had always wanted, period.

I felt guilty, for having been such an instigator all those years. Harry obviously had had so much on his plate as it was, what with defeating the Dark Lord and all, and the last thing he had needed was me always at his back, starting fights and being an arse.

This leads my thoughts to Harry and his back…. and then Harry _on_ his back… no, that wasn't right..._me on my back, Harry leaning above me, his strong arms on either side of my head. He leans down for a quick, sweet kiss before thrusting his hips against mine, shooting pleasure through my stomach and up into my fingertips._

My body is responding to my thoughts, my cock becoming painfully hard. My hand moves quicker, my hips thrusting in time with each stroke.

I think of his eyes, and how kind he was to me after my trial, and the smile on the train...

My spine arches as I am washed with intense pleasure, a cry of "_Harry!"_ on my lips as I come hard across the shower wall, the quickest I had ever come since I was thirteen.

As I come down from the post- orgasm high, I am shocked with myself. _Had I really just wanked to thoughts of Harry Potter?_ I shake my head, disbelieving. It wasn't like I was gay or anything… right? And obviously Harry wasn't gay either….

I start laughing when I think of what my father would say. A slight whisper of a laugh turns into a full-blown fit, my stomach hurting and tears rolling down my face as I think of my father hearing about his son wanking to thoughts of Harry Potter the Chosen One, of all people.

I manage to calm myself down after a few minutes, until the laughter is only silent shakes of my shoulders.

I hear a rapid knocking on the bathroom door, and hear Theo's voice. "You've been in there for ages, Draco. The rest of us need to take a piss, mate!"

I quickly wash down my body, erasing any evidence of my activities from earlier, and turn off the shower.

As I fall asleep that night I realize that my time in the shower had been the first time I had let myself go, and let myself laugh, in months. And all thanks to Harry Potter, no less.

The thought seems absurd, but I let myself relax into my blankets.

_At least there is something that lets me feel again. If that something just happens to be Harry Potter, then so be it. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**AN: Sorry for how long this took, and for how short it is. I've been busy doing who-knows-what, and just wanted to get something up. I will be updating regularly now, every week at least. Thanks for the support!**

Chapter 3

I wake up to the sound of a squeal and a groan following immediately after.

I turn my head to see Pansy sitting on Theo's chest, petting his hair. He is blushing bright red but seems to be trying to hide it under his arm thrown over his face. Pansy cooes and snuggles on top of him like a particularly annoying cat.

I turn my head away and meet eyes with an amused looking Blaise, whose head Is peeking out from between his bed hangings. "Looks like Theo's her new plaything. Poor lad."

"It must've been the blushing," I whisper back. Blaise laughs quietly and shakes his head before hiding back within the confines of his curtains again.

I agree with a slight nod and pull the pillow over my face. I wouldn't have left the door to our dorm unspelled had I known that hurricane Pansy would come in, destroying my sleep and leaving a wake of madness around her.

The noises quiet, so I risk a peek out from under my pillow. At this point she's settled down, just laying right on top of Theo, her hand still petting him like an animal. Theo lifts his arm off his face for a moment and turns to me, the question evident on his face. I smirk and shake my head, indicating there was no hope for him now. Pans had acted the same way with me and Blaise before we became her favorite pals- this was only the beginning.

I get up once I realize that staying in bed hoping for sleep would be futile. I head to the bathroom, grabbing my clothes on the way.

I head to breakfast alone, unwilling to wait for Blaise to get up, and not particularly wanting to sit with Pansy and her new hip-adornment. I start with a tart of some sort, and per usual, my eyes drift to the Gryffindor table. They latch onto a certain trio of rather unfortunate hair-do's.

Potter looks away from his food and up at the Slytherin table, like he's looking for something. When his eyes land on mine, he stops, and smiles questioningly. I blush, thinking about my actions yesterday in the confines of my shower. It felt odd now, looking at him.

He smirked and I dropped my eyes back to my food. _Stupid Gryffindor with his stupid smile and stupid hair._

I eat as quickly as I can before practically running out of the Great Hall. I have no idea why I'm acting so oddly, but I know I just have to get away from Potter's prying eyes.

On my way to Potions, the first class of the semester, I have to keep reminding myself that Potter is still the same prat he was the last seven years. My mind fights me though, and retorts: _But how can he be the same? You're not the same prat you were last year, how could he be?_

I sigh. Arguing with oneself was never a good sign concerning mental health.

Potter sits behind me in Potions, and its like his eyes are burning a hole in the back of my head. It's like an itch I can't scratch; I just _know _he's got that same smirk on his face…

I turn my head around slightly, and catch his eye. I was right; he smirks unashamedly, like he knows what I did yesterday. I whip my head back around, and I don't look back at him again for the rest of the class, even though I am unable to focus on anything other than the tingling on the back of my neck from his stare.

*0*0*0*

After dinner that night, I sit alone in the common room. Blaise is gone somewhere with Theo, probably finding some way to smuggle alcohol into the school for the party he's planning over the weekend.

I'm reading, perfectly content sitting alone in front of the empty fireplace. I had taken to reading more lately, as a way to escape from the darkness of my thoughts.

The portrait hole entrance door swings open, revealing a dark messy-haired head before the body follows. Potter walks in and closes the door behind him.

"Alone for once, P- Harry?" Potter looks up at me in surprise, before making his way to the love seat beside the sofa I'm on.

"Mmm. Ron got pulled away by Blaise, surprisingly enough. Something about fire whiskey?"

I nod. "Yeah, he's planning a party for the eighth years this weekend. I'm surprised he grabbed Weasley, though. He's never been one for gingers." He chuckles and shrugs.

"Yeah, Ron will probably make me go to that. He's been telling me to loosen up lately, which just means get drunk. I headed up here to get started on some homework though, myself." He replies.

I scoff. "_Homework. _Sure. I know you don't really care about academics, Potter."

He opens his mouth like he's going to protest, but then he seems to change his mind. "Yeah. It's just… everybody's been telling me to "_loosen up, Harry" _and "_Live a little, Harry"_, but I can't find it in myself to want to party. I get that everybody is celebrating that the war ended, but… I can't help but feel like shit thinking about all those who we lost, you know?"

I stare at him a moment. "Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. Two sides of the same war, but nobody really wins in the end."

He nods and looks at his lap. "True enough."

He seems to search for something to say, and we sit in silence for a moment.

"Want to play some chess?" He asks, indicating the board on the table next to the sofa. I decide, _why not? _and close my book.

We play for awhile, shooting mild jabs at each-other in jest. We joke around, and it's almost… nice. Like we were never enemies.

I finally win, and sweep my hand across the board in a grand gesture of my sovereignty. "I am Draco Malfoy, ruler of all the kingdom. Bow down to my power, peasant." I bellow at Harry.

He's laughing. He slides off the love seat onto the ground, bowing low to me. I'm shocked that he's playing along, and I find I quite like the sight of him on his knees.

"You may rise, and be marked a most noble servant!" I shout, both of us collapsing back on our seats in laughter.

Once the laughter has died down, Harry looks at me. "Hey, thanks. For not treating me differently after the war, like everybody else has been. I've always been able to rely on you to be an arse to me, no matter what anyone else calls me. I appreciate it." He grins at his underhanded compliment.

_If only he knew how wrong he was. After the war, I started thinking about shagging him, for Merlin's sake!_ "Of course, no problem. I just happen to know what a prat you are, unlike anyone else. I'm evil anyways, right? Better act my part." I joke.

He stares at me for a long moment, enough for me to shift awkwardly in my seat. He finally laughs and shakes his head. "Whatever, Draco."

My face heats at his use of my name, and I berate myself silently.

His face turns serious, and he looks me in the eye. I am pinned by his stare, unable to move. "Do you ever get nightmares from the war?" He asks me in a quiet voice.

I consider before answering him. It feels a bit odd to reveal one of my best-kept secrets to my childhood enemy, but for some reason, I answer honestly. "All the time. I wake up screaming most nights."

"Yeah, me too. I know that I should be happy, and everyone seems to view me as some all-powerful grand vanquisher who has no weakness. It's exhausting, knowing that nobody will help you with a problem they can't know you have."

I nod. He doesn't even know how much I connect with what he's saying- I'm shocked that he's admitting this to me. The Savior of the Wizarding world himself has nightmares, just like me. A part of me relaxes.

"It's what happens, I guess. When you're a focal point of the destruction. You, the light. Me, the dark. Ironic, is it not? That we were enemies, yet experienced much the same?"

He nods again. "Yeah." He whispers. I can't remember how our conversation had turned so dark.

I notice the clock on the wall behind his head. It reads half-past ten. "Well, I have to go to bed. 'Night." I get up from the sofa and grab my book, turning for the stairs. I see Harry get up as well, in my peripheral. As I start to walk away, headed towards the dorms, his hand snakes out and grasps my forearm. I gasp and turn around. My thoughts are focused on his hand, and how warm it is against my skin. His skin is much smoother that I would've guessed, with only a few rough callouses.

"What, Harry-" I start to ask.

He cuts me off with a serious look, his eyes boring into mine, searching my soul. "You're not evil. I know that."

My mouth goes dry as I look at him. He releases my arm, and we stand there looking at each other for a moment before I wrench my eyes away, and head for the dorms.

My heart is beating frantically, fluttering all the way up to my room.

Later that night, while I'm lying in bed, I hear an owl pecking on the window. Blaise had returned already with Theo, both of them fast asleep in their beds. I lie, turning restlessly, thoughts plagued by Potter- his eyes, his hand, his parting words.

I get up and let the owl in, taking the package before closing the window behind it.

I unravel the twine that holds together the parcel, and a bottle rolls out into my palm. I roll it over, and read the label. It says, _Dreamless Sleep Potion._

I open the accompanying note.

_Draco,_

_I thought you might need this. I use it almost every night. _

_-Harry_

_*0*0*0*_

**AN: Leave a review to let me know what you think.**

**Also, leave any ideas for future fics that I should do in the comments or message me on my tumblr (see on my bio/author page). Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor do I make any money from writing this.**

**AN: See, look! Its only been two days since my last update! Yay! Anyways, review and tell me your opinions. **

Chapter 4

The rest of the week passes in a confused blur for me. I try to avoid Potter, even though I'm not sure why. The morning after he sent me the potion, I had seen him at breakfast and mumbled a quick "_Thanks." _I haven't spoken to him since, and I find myself taking the quickest showers known to man.

Friday night comes quickly, and it does not disappoint.

Immediately after dinner, the eighth years all flood the common room and Blaise locks the portrait hole. Granger looks on in disapproval, but she has been a bit more laid-back since the war. It suits her.

I try and sneak up to the dorm so I can just sleep, but Theo latches on to my arm and prevents me from leaving.

"If I have to suffer through this shit, you do too." He whispers menacingly in my ear.

I sigh long-sufferingly, and watch Blaise as he summons the firewhiskey from the dorm.

"Firewhiskey for all! It's about time we get trashed! To eighth year!" He shouts, and toasts to the crowd before downing a gulp of the flask of firewhiskey.

I roll my eyes at his antics, glancing around to see if I can catch Potter. He is nowhere to be seen, and for some reason my heart sinks.

Everyone rushes to get a drink, and music starts blaring from some unknown source.

Blaise makes his way over to us, holding three glass bottles.

"One for Theo so he can make a move on Pansy; one for me so I can make a move on Theo, or maybe Granger; and one for Drakey, so he can get laid by anyone who finds the mild stench of desperation attractive." He hands us our respective bottles, and I smack him over the head.

"Really, Blaise? You call _me _desperate? Of all people…" I shake my head.

He laughs loudly and tips the bottle to his lips. "Drink up Drakey. Remember fifth year? You were such a fun drunk."

"Yeah, and I was also an evil delinquent who was into Pansy. Not somewhere I wish to return, mate."

His eyes grow big. "And you used to get it up in Snape's class, too! Oh my gosh that was so awful." He laughs, clutching his stomach.

Theo joins in, "Yeah! And you used to wax poetic about his greasy hair and lovely ill-green pallor… those were the days, mate."

I chug from the bottle in my hand, hoping to drown my embarrassment. The last thing I wanted was to remember the past years.

I walk away, leaving them collapsing on each other in laughter. I keep drinking, hoping that it will make everything go away.

Soon enough, I've finished my third firewhiskey, and I'm feeling a bit hazy, but much lighter.

I grab another bottle from someone, and start to gyrate to the music, uncaring. It's about this time that I notice Potter walk in the common room from his dorm. Ron goes up to him and claps him on the back.

I shake my head and dislodge my gaze from Potter's face. _I really need to get a hold of myself… What's wrong with me? I'm not gay._

I keep telling myself this, grabbing another bottle from the floor, discarded by someone. I down it in one, while staring at Potter as he chats with Loony Lovegood.

I start feeling really hot with all the bodies pressed in around me, so I take off my tie and robe, and unbutton the first few buttons of my uniform. Blaise pops up beside me, shoving another firewhiskey into my hand. He dances beside me and grabs my hand, encouraging me.

My head is spinning, but I feel light, like I'm floating. My dancing feels a bit off-kilter, since the walls are spinning, but I don't care.

"Oi, Potter! C'mere!" I shout over to Harry, gesturing to him in what my mind interprets as "sexyily".

Potter looks at me and laughs, shaking his head before coming over. I grab his hands and start to dance, pulling him along with me. He is hesitant, and when I start grinding against me he puts a hand on my hip to stop me.

I, in my inebriated state, take it as encouragement. I take his hand and bring it up to my waist, pushing closer to him.

He chuckles nervously, and starts to dance with me slowly.

It is about this time that I black out.

*0*0*0*

The curtains around my bed are drawn back violently, letting the sun shine harshly into my eyes.

"Wakey, wakey, Drakey!" Blaise shouts annoyingly in my face.

I pull the covers over my head. "Shut the fuck up, Blaise."

"Ooooh, touchy. Though I must ask… it looks as if you have company. I would check that out if I were you." He then yanks my curtains closed again, before moving on.

It takes a moment for his words to process in my sluggish brain. When comprehension dawns, I gasp and sit up, turning to my left.

Sure enough, a tuft of black hair sticks out over the top of the covers.

I lean over, and glimpse a familiar scar in the shape of a lightning bolt.

"Shit…" I whisper to myself. I peek under the covers to confirm my suspicion: Potter is naked except for a pair of tight-fitting pants. His trousers and jumper are nowhere to be seen.

I crawl out of the bed slowly, trying my hardest not to jostle the body next to me. I pull the curtains closed behind me, and make my way over to Blaise's dresser. I root around in the top drawer filled with bottles of lube and other horrifying objects before I spot the Hangover potion. I take a gulp and recap it, before turning around and looking over at Theo's bed.

His curtains are half-drawn, as if he was in too much of a hurry getting there to bother with shutting them entirely. His arm hangs over the side of the bed, and a pair of panties lie on the floor next to his bed, along with other feminine garments strewn haphazardly.

I shudder, not wanting to know who was in the bed with him, and head to the showers.

My head has cleared a bit by now, so I don't stab Blaise when I see him in the showers already.

He is humming some stupid tune off-key, and I knock on the glass door of the shower, making him jump.

"Bloody hell, Draco! Nearly scared me to death, you did." He shrieks.

"I need answers. Now, Blaise."

He sighs and turns off the shower, before stepping out unashamedly nude. He wraps a towel around himself and moves to the shared sink.

He roots around in a drawer, lands on some hair product, and starts working it into his dark locks.

"Fine. So, after you had like five or six bottles of firewhiskey, you started dancing all over Potter. He didn't seem to be all that into it at first, but he didn't shove you away or anything so it was fine.

Then the crazy shit happened. You got up on one of the coffee tables in the common room and said you had to make an announcement. You then proceeded to tell the entire eighth year how beautiful you found Potter, and how great he was, etc. You even kissed his hand." Blaise snickers at this.

I groan, mortified. "No… oh God…"

"But it gets better. So then Potter was like, "Draco, lets get you to bed," and you were like, "But wait! Since you saved the world, you get a free lap dance!"

I slam the butt of my palm into my head at this.

Blaise continues. " ...And then you shoved him down onto the sofa and started giving him a fucking lap dance! Everybody was either shocked or laughing their arses off."

He laughs and looks at me sympathetically in the mirror.

His brow furrows as he remembers, "But the thing is, he didn't shove you off. Maybe he was too drunk to, but it was almost like he was enjoying it."

I scoff, but secretly warm at the thought.

"But then he started getting all flustered and he was all thrusting onto you, so Weasley grabbed him and said something. He nodded and then got up and grabbed your arm and ushered you up to the dorms.

"I followed you, just to make sure you got to bed all right. Potter laid you down in the bed and went to turn back but you grabbed his arm and said, "Wait, Harry...stay with me." At that, I turned back and went down to the party where I stayed until like 4 a.m. so I have no idea how he got naked, but I guess he stayed." Blaise finishes.

"No shit." I mutter, and turn the shower on. I quickly rinse down and get ready. When I get back into the dorm, Potter is gone.

*0*0*0*

I skip breakfast, avoiding Harry. I wander around until I find an empty classroom, where I stay for the morning doing homework.

Around lunch time, I hear the door open, and Harry walks in with a bag in his hand. I am frozen to the spot, completely dumbfounded as to how he found me.

"Hey. I brought you some lunch." He says, coming over to sit next to me on the floor.

I stay quiet, taking the food that he hands me and gratefully sinking my teeth into it.

"Listen…" He starts, "I know what you're probably thinking. But do you remember anything that happened last night?"

I finish chewing. "Not really, but Blaise filled me in. I'm really, really sorry about that, by the way."

He looks up at me in confusion before turning his eyes down into his lap. "Yeah, it's no problem. Anyways, I got to get back. Just wanted to make sure you weren't starving yourself up here. I'll see you later." He mutters, and leaves before I can think up a response.

I sigh, feeling sad for some reason. Absently, I realize that last night was the first night in three years that I had slept through the night without waking from a nightmare.

*0*0*0*

**AN: Sorry, another short one. R/R please!**


End file.
